BOOK I
ÜRTAÍVUR
Suddenly, to alleviate the peril of Ürt, an enormous turtle appeared by seemingly
the will of an unknown god, perhaps the one that organized the primordial mess
that first formed the universe all that time ago. The turtle, known later to men,
women, and children—this seems to have been the second time that joke was used
and it already feels old, obvious, and repetitive—as Ürtaívur, flew from the sky.
With just a move from his mighty leg, Ürtaívur freed Mother Earth's head
from the blue surface of the daughter of Uáter and back into the realm of air.
The moment, however, the turtle ceased moving his limb, Òchen merely resumed
her lust toward all-bearing Ürt, but the massive turtle swirled all his limbs and
his tail with cyclonic speed. Consequently, the aquatic surface of Òchen suddenly
developed waves of varying sizes, becoming rough and choppy. Òchen, moist
daughter of aqueous Uáter, still lusts to the all-mother Ürt and the great
turtle, Ürtaívur, spins his limbs to keep the ocean at bay.
The initial mating of the ocean and the earth resulted in development
of tiny, mossy nymphs. They would mate with Jît, scorching daughter of primordial
Faír, to form the first trees, plants, and bushes.
Now the great, all-encompassing sky, Scaîfadér, lay too dangerously close to broad
Ürt, leaving no space for the clouds in the air or for the developing plant life
on the surface of the earth, totally engulfing her surface. Ürtaívur, using all his might
and strength, tried to shove Scaîfadér up, but the son of exposed Èr got
aroused at the mere thought of being close to the large mother, and he became cocked
and rigid so his vertical member would remain on massive, rotund Ürt.
The giant turtle was at a crossroads at what to do about this predicament:
the heavens were lusting towards mother earth, keeping an erect hold on the
object of his desire; if he were to lay on top of her again, there would be
no breathing room for the moss on the surface and the clouds of the air;
but to prevent all-covering Scaîfadér from suffocating Ürt, the plants,
and the clouds, the turtle Ürtaívur would need to bite off the member of
the great sky, which could possibly regrow and the turtle would have to do
the entire process over again.
Ürtaívur thoroughly thought about this situation, evaluating all the pros and cons
of each solution, for some time, which to us humans would feel like precisely
Gathering all his courage, Ürtaívur moved his topmost head towards the sky's
bottommost head and castrated the heavens. Thinking quickly, the turtle placed
the still-rigid genitals in the realm of the north, placing them against the heavens.
This only partially worked because Scaîfadér merely made his move on the
remaining areas.
Again did Ürtaívur bite down and tore off the heaven's atmospheric meat stick
and giant eggs, placing them this time in the lowest domain, in the area
of pure heat. Scaîfadér, who engulfs the entire world and would later be the
home of the immortal gods, was deterred not by this at all.
Scaîfadér regrew his genitalia afresh and Ürtaívur once more eunuchized the heavens,
placing the celestial manhood in the area of the sunrise. The sky grew his erect
phallus anew and the turtle, after emasculating the god, moved the severed shaft
to the domain of the sunset. This process repeated for the directions in-between.
Finally, at long last, after an octet of ethereal orchidotomies, massive Scaîfadér,
equal to size of the surface of Ürt, became limp as a result of the indignity of
being upheld by his severed straight serpents all around him. His lust for
the all-bearing mother had died off.
The many castrations caused a massive ocean of blood to land on the surface
of the earth, who was already encircled by the lustful ocean. The giant turtle
Ürtaívur created a crevice in broad Ürt to drain the blood and put it away,
feeling confident that it would never reappear and be of no further importance,
but of course we all know better than that, and the heavenly blood will play
a significant role much later on.