THE DAWN OF MAN

The holy gods searched far and wide for something to quench their

collective thirst, but no delicious liquid was to be found to alleviate

the fluid cravings of the Jólians above.

At long last, the deathless ones found mysterious crevice occupied

with fluid as crimson as the dusk, just before nightfall. The substance

had the appearance of fruit punch and to the gods, would probably

have the taste of sweet fruits, so the gods decided to chug it all down.

Though it was a little bitter, it still seemed to fulfill the gods' thirst.

Now, if you recall the tale of Ürtaívur some chapters previous, then

you will know how he placed the flowing blood from the many

castrations of perverse Scaîfadér, who was lusting over mother Ürt,

into a crevice on the dark mother herself to put it away. It was said

that the great turtle felt confident that it would never reappear and be

of no further importance, but of course we all know better than that,

and the heavenly blood will play a significant role much later on.

Yes, the blood of castrated, all-encompassing Scaîfadér was now

being consumed by the gods to resolve their thirst.

The gods above seemed to feel well with no apparent signs of ailment

after imbibing the dark red juice found in the earth, unbeknownst to

them but knownst to us as the sanguine fluid from the heavenly

emasculation. All seemed well for thousands of years.

Then, in an unanticipated moment, a severe case of discomfort developed

in their bellies, producing a wet, nasty growling sound. The immortal gods

of Jóli all clenched their abdomens in agony. An intense pressure started to

build up behind their anuses, bound to burst at any moment.

No toilet was to be found on Jóli to purge of the coming waste and if

nothing could be discovered to contain it, the gods would soil their clothes.

Left with no other solutions available, the holy gods who can never die and

are responsible for all good and everything in the world, moved the contents

of their bowels onto the surface of the earth.

Enormous streams of excrement poured onto the earth, swallowing the land

in waves of foul-smelling feculence. Many animals on the earth had to be

quick and cunning to escape the waste, whether by flying over the earth and

turning past the streams, reaching as high as ground as possible, hiding out

in caves, or miraculously trying to avoid the discharge while living their lives.

It was over thousands of millennia after it started that the ejecta from Mount

Jóli ceased to be. The gods felt much relief, as the intense pressure in their

bowels had finally died off. Meanwhile, the earth's surface was caked with

godly manure—large, moist piles lay everywhere; enormous brown puddles

were flooding otherwise barren and warm areas; watery waste was bleeding

into lakes, streams, and oceans.

The animals living on the earth, not being very bright, managed to return to

some semblance of a normal life, but not without interference from the

holy droppings. One way or another, the animals would inadvertently make

a form of physical contact with the dung piles and runny fluid.

Following the contact, the waste, previously shapeless and free of form,

was starting to develop anatomy, almost resembling the holy gods who

rule over the universe, coincidentally—whether this was the doing of

fate, the gods, or pure chance is still unknown, even by the wisest today.

The newly formed creatures from the ordure were considerably taller than

any of the animals, standing on two legs while towering over the fierce

wolf on all fours, much enormous than any of the horizontal fish as these

new beings stood vertically.

The immortal rulers took notice of these beings and how similar in appearance

the smaller things were to the gods of Jóli. They departed the heavens for

the surface world to see if they would do their chores for them and pray

to them for issues to problems.

The gods were surprised to see the fecal creatures notice them immediately

and in wonder. “Strange new beings,” they commanded to them, “you shall

offer us prayers for hope and good fortune, as we holy gods are imbued in

all things, from the air you breathe to the ground on which you stand!

You will do our commands and all the chores we don't wanna do, and be

only paid by having the pride of having fulfilled the wishes of us!”

The beings, that were able to stand erect and have their heads be able

to stare up into the sky in contrast to the animals who could only

crawl on four legs and look down at the ground, agreed to the deathless

rulers' wishes wholeheartedly and without question.

Thus, the feces of the gods above in Jóli—so lately no more than a

formless, foul mass, a revolting diarrheic fluid, and a crass, crude,

and tasteless joke—was formed to assume to brand new figure

known as humanity.