SUSCROFA

This new figure, humanity, had existed for a mere many million years

when Sån, the great eye, had a horrible feeling impregnated inside her.

As Sån, daughter of Faír, stared down on the earth from the distance of

the cosmos, she grimly recalled the horrific events at the home of Suscrofa,

a recent occurrence—at least to the gods above—and only barely rumored.

Deeply disgusted and heavily enraged, as only the sun could be as such,

she called an assembly of all the other gods and all replied to her call.

Some arrived immediately; others did so reluctantly after feeling like

doing nothing all day; others refused to show up, much to the chagrin

of the middle group. Sån harangued and screamed at these gods to

show up for the meeting, whether they wanted to or not.

In nights without clouds and light pollution, a faint swirl of light can

be seen; it can be viewed next to the throne of the vain queen Cassiopeia

and pointed at by her servant Schedar; you can also find this swirl hovering

over the middle of the topmost streamer of the Square of Pegasus, when it

can be seen on its side as a diamond, a square on its side.

It is known to men as the Andromeda galaxy, most famous for its whiteness

and subsequently the outrage, hate, and oppression it receives from left-wing

Zoomers. This is the path the gods must travel to the palace of the mighty sun.

The highly-crowded halls of marble all around the palace, protected behind

a pair of grand, golden gates, are the home of the highest gods.

The everyday deities reside outside, upon the jagged crags of Jolí;

inside the halls, under the starry ceilings supported by elongated golden

beams with no apparent top, is where the elite gods have established their homes.

And Jolí is the place where, if I could muster the hardihood to say so,

I'd not be scared to describe as the Capitol Hill of the firmament—

at least, not the current state of it anyway.

After the gods had taken seats at the massive table, queenly Sån,

enthroned on her might dais, shook the long, blonde locks of her

hair four times, temporarily disrupting all communication on the earth,

then opened her mouth to exude her fury in this specific manner:

“The fear and dread I feel in my hot heart this moment for the

autonomous dominance of the universe is equal to when the

Lest, our offspring, were being and thus threatening our control

over all the cosmos and make it in their own thoughts.

Like the vile Lest before them just for existing, I now am forced

to commit all of humanity to death and destruction wherever

the ocean lusts over the earth and kept away from the great turtle.

By the flowing water of the Delaware River below, I swear to us

that I will do it! This species is a disease beyond remedy!

We have our demigods, those powerful deities of the country

including nymphs and other beasts, the aquatic creatures

residing in the lakes of the world. These beings we have not

selected to join us in celestial privileges.

Since they have survived the destruction of the lizards many chapters ago,

in the previous book, do you honors feel that their well-being is secure

when I, the sun that sees all, the reason all life exists, the master of

all you gods, am the victim of plots cooked up by that vile monster Suscrofa?”

The palace was outraged; reason and rationality were pushed aside and

emotions dominated their minds as they called for the life of the malcontent.

All of humanity was stricken with a terrible dread of horrific disaster

that would inevitably arrive and the earth shivered in fear.

The gods were so loyal to Sån that a mere mutter from the queen was

enough to control and calm the loud hubbub; silence fell upon all the gods.

Sån then broke the silence again, like she did at the beginning of

the meeting, to announce this: “Suscrofa has been punished for her crimes,

rest assured; just let me tell of her transgressions and describe the punishment

that she had received in return.

Evil rumors were flying around and reached my ears. Athirst to disprove

these claims, I descended the crags of Mount Jolí and roamed the earth,

a goddess in the form of a mortal. To recount the total amount of evil

and doom would be too lengthy and ghastly to repeat, and the author

has been busy with work and easy distractions to even get this book published!

My discoveries were nothing like the rumors spread around; indeed, the truth

was much, much worse. Passing through these mountains—Fauve, the multicolored

home of the wild beasts, and Jaîpoînt, filled with aged hippies and hillbillies,

I discovered the domain of Suscrofa. I had given a sign that a god had

arrived in the village and the common folk turned to their prayers. Then—”

“What sign did you give the public?” a god in the pantheon asked.

All-seeing Sån was aghast at this interruption, feeling it to be irrelevant

to her tale of horror. “What sign did you give the public?” the god asked again.

The sun replied to this unimportant question thus: “I gave them a sign. Now—”

“What sign did you give the public that a god had arrived on earth?”

the same god asked again. “It's a small detail, but it's still an important

detail that we need to know about!” Another deity replied incredulously,

“What do you mean it's an important detail? We don't even know your name!

Who are you to tell us that an insignificant detail is not so if you yourself

lack the information of your own name for us?”

The first god replied: “You yourself haven't been identified either and you

claim that my name isn't an important detail, like the sign Sån gave!

So since your claims are hypocritical, then any argument you make

is 100% invalid.” The second god complained that the whole thing

was totally irrelevant to the story the great sun was telling about Suscrofa.

The first god retorted that all the details, no matter who seemingly

pointless, were significant to understanding Sån's story.

This ceaseless, pointless argument went on and on and on for quite

a great long while until, at long last, the last modicum of her patience

running thin, almost to the point of nonexistence, did Sån command:

“WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS SHUT THE FUCK UP??!!”

And so, with the command of all-seeing Sån did silence fall and

arguments between any deity cease to be. Attention from all the

gods returned to Sån to tell her terrible tale:

“I had arrived at the domain of Suscrofa. It was a small temporary

home for travelers looking for a place to stay for the night.

I knocked on the door and Suscrofa answered, 'Oh, hello. It's starting

to get dark out. Why don't you come in and stay the night?'

She let me inside; everything seemed all right and nothing out of

the ordinary—the first transgression. Afterward, she offered me

a bed to sleep in for the night. I noticed the blanket has a tiny

unidentifiable type of crumb on it, possibly a piece of stone.

Before I could tell this to her, she noticed the crumb and said,

'Oh, wait a minute. Lemme clean this blanket off a little,' and

picked up the crumb and tossed it away, leaving a clean blanket.

She then divulged a plan to me of offering me some food and

drinks for my mortal body that journeyed a long way. Not content

with just that, she intended to give me breakfast and drinks like

orange juice and milk after I awoke the following morning.

When she turned her back to take care of my hospitality,

my moment had arrived. My sun rays of revenge burnt through

the sky; Suscrofa was surprised by the sudden change from

nighttime to daylight and went outside to see what was happening.

Outdoors, she looked up to the sky, but when she tried to speak,

a deep squeal replaced her words. Her depravity infected the rest

of her body; her bottom teeth turned to fangs and her top ones

into curved tusks as her face elongated unnaturally.

Her clothes and hairs were altered into a coarse, bristly fur;

her arms into legs; her feet and hands into bone-like hooves.

Suscrofa was now transformed into a boar; her evil thoughts

now well-matched for her swinish presentation.

As you can discern clearly, the disease of insanity is holding control

of every single member of the human race without exception!

You'd think that they all joined some sort of evil elite movement!

My sentence is thus: All humans are shit so they must be annihilated!”

And thus spoke Sån. Some empowered her rage further by cheering her

on loudly and obnoxiously; others expressed their praise by clapping

more quietly or nodding silently in agreement.

But nevertheless some comments came flying—and it matters not who

said it: “The eradication of all humans will most definitely be abhorred!

And have you all not forgotten the most recent eras, right from the

previous book as a matter of fact, had no intelligent mortals whatsoever?

Has it been forgotten that there were none to offer us sacrifices and prayers

to our altars? Is this world to be at the mercy of savage wild animals again?”

Such were their inquiries, and again it matters not which deities asked them;

it just mattered that such questions were being asked. Sån assuaged her

fellow gods. She, and she alone, would take care of life on earth;

not just wiping out the current life on earth, but also creating a new

race of beings with a godly birth, unlike the monsters before it.